It’s time to offer something of a Darwin Award for Tech, which we will call the SOSy Awards – for SOS, of course, bestowed on people who are so off base in their pursuits, they clearly need help. Or a serious intervention, at the very least.  Our suggestion for this inaugural winner is none other than everyone’s favorite doctor, even though he has no medical degree, received a C+ in organic chemistry, and is a college dropout…

Bill Gates!

We’ve chosen Gates as the premier recipient for many reasons, not the least of which is his latest foray into pseudoscience: Bill Gates Funds Plan to Chop Down, Bury Millions of Trees in the of climate change, of course. You know, those things that convert carbon into oxygen, which are necessary for carbon-based species such as people to survive.

“MIT Technology Review reported that Kodama Systems had raised around $6.6 million, a hefty sum, from Breakthrough Energy Ventures, billionaire Bill Gates’s climate fund. Trees will be cut down in California and buried in Nevada for this “stealth effort,” which Kodama characterizes as “biomass burial,” PJ Media reported.

Because trees and forests are fire hazards, of course. As are the batteries in electric cars, but don’t see anyone burying that idea (Yes, electric car battery fires burn hotter than an engine fire in a gas car). The idea of pushing everyone to electric cars is spreading among certain cities and states like a house on fire (even a firehouse), pun intended.

But back to the SOSy and this year’s winner. Trees are often harvested to be converted into building materials, furniture, et al. Not in this case. They’re going to be buried, because these are low oxygen-yielding trees, and the idea is to make way for higher oxygen-yielding trees – not that planting such trees are part of the plan.

For the record, the US Forest Service plans on eliminating 70 million acres of trees over the next decade, mostly in California, extracting more than a billion tons of bone-dry biomass, according to Forbes – and selling the carbon credits, too, of course.

How does this make any sense?

The fires that raged through California fairly recently were the result of poor forestry practices: Ecowarriors were opposed to underbrush being ‘needlessly destroyed,’ no matter that it was literally tinder waiting to happen. Only in the case of California, didn’t wait long.

And wouldn’t burying trees create yet another problem, re fires?

Actually, they’re not destroying the trees: they’re storing the wood in underground vaults – and longer term, creating a shortage of wood that’s needed for building and industry. Why bury it? Why not build a philanthropic industry around it?

But what happens when you bury some 70 million acres of trees and bury them? Wouldn’t that create something of a wood shortage?

Yes, it would – pun intended. But that’s shortage. Monopoly. Cha-ching.

Ah, now it all makes sense.

Which leads us to Gates’s next qualifier for the SOSy: chemtrails. This Bill Gates-funded chemical cloud could help stop global warming, CNBC reported, by mimicking a huge volcanic eruption. In this case, globally.

And blocking out the sun.

You know, that entity that plants and humans need to survive? Sunlight. Vitamin D3 and photosynthesis and all that rot.

Considering the recent fires in Lahaina, we were curious as to what is in those chemtrails that are crisscrossing the skies globally. We’re not a conspiracy theorist, mind you, merely a consummate researcher. Interestingly, we found a documentary about the chemtrails (Hawaii Revisited; Investigating Chemtrails/Geoengineering), a follow-up to a documentary the crew had filmed the year before on Maui (What in the World Are They Spraying?), and it turns out the chemtrails lead to acid rain, crop failures and an increase in the incidence of cancer. As to what in the world they’re spraying: aluminum, barium, and strontium, among other things. In other words, heavy metals. We know that there are those theorists out there who believe that Lahaina was the result of a directed energy attack, and we’re just not going there, but it’s science that a heavy metal fire will not merely burn but incinerate everything in its path, which may explain the raging fires and extent of the damage in Lahaina.

The documentary, by the way, was released in May, 2011.

Bill Gates has interfered with the systole and diastole of life – and education – before and always with less than stellar if not disastrous results (Polio cases derived from new oral vaccine reported for first time, and “six children in the Democratic Republic of the Congo and one in Burundi have been paralyzed by viruses from the new vaccine,” brought to you by the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, Statnews reported.

The Darwin Awards are bestowed upon people who did something so dumb, it caused their death, re Darwin, survival of the fittest and all that. The SOSy is something different and as for Gates, to refresh your memory, Microsoft under then CEO Bill Gates’s stewardship, was sued by the government for anti-trust violations. The Department of Justice case alleged that Microsoft intentionally made it extremely difficult for consumers to install software by other companies on personal computers that ran on Microsoft’s operating system, and that was certainly true. What to speak of the fact that Microsoft products at the time were crap.

How bad and non-consumer friendly were the products? We personally were on a computer using the Microsoft OS at the time. The company released a new version of the OS – and removed a Word function that we needed constantly. It took us thirteen steps to replicate that one function we were formerly able to do in one step. We called a friend who was headed up product development at the company at the time and asked him where that function was. It was there, he assured us: it was in the product road map – although he couldn’t readily find it, either. He assured us that he would find it and call me back. A month went by and we called him back. We had resolved the problem.

“What did you do?” he asked.

“Bought a Mac,” we answered.

But that was and still is Gates’s MO: release the product, whether it works or not, and deal with the consequences later.

Gates did step down as CEO, and even from the Board to focus on ‘philanthropic’ pursuits – and currently seems to be making the world his Petrie dish. A leopard never changes his stripes (sic) and in lockstep with his behavior at Microsoft, considering the wide net he has cast, Bill Gates is still not to be trusted.

Which is why he’s the perfect recipient of the award. His so-called and somewhat less than philanthropic leanings aside, or maybe front and center, he’s Bill Gates and his trajectory has never changed. In other words, SOSy – he’s still selling the world the Same Old Sh*t as we go onward and forward.